Hey, romance readers! This series of posts is designed to be passed on to the real men in your life, the guys who wonder just what the heck is so great about those men in the sexy novels you read. You could pass it on in its entirety, cut and paste, highlight, or just print it out and anonymously leave it somewhere for him to read.
Part 1 When you’re with her, pay attention and listen to her.
Romance novels attempt to capture that time in your relationship when you were totally focused on each other, when your plans to be with that special person interrupted every other thought you had as you went about your day. In our hyperactive world, focused attention like that is so rare and precious. Is that kind of intensity impractical in a real life filled with job and family responsibilities? Yes. But since romance novels generated about $1.8 billion in revenues last year, it must be important to somehow bring that heady feeling of attention into our everyday lives.
Instead of checking your phone, worrying about work or watching the game, spend just ten minutes of every day focusing on her, really looking at her and listening to what she says. Touch her and notice her hair, her clothing and her mood, remember what she says, and act on it. Ten minutes, guys, you can do ten minutes! The heroes of romance novels do more than ten minutes of this active attention, but for you and other nonfictional males, that’s a good start. (And a great way to begin the process of improving your sex life.) When you’re 100% present for a few minutes of every day, you’re just…there. Things flow and you can listen without overthinking and formulating what you should say back. You’ll both naturally feel more open, playful and alive. (Look for ten more tips to come on this blog series.)